From a facebook wall discussion:
Until a child is out, born and breathing in the world, it is just Potential. I've seen too many still born babies at full term and too many late term miscarriages in friends and family to feel otherwise. The loss of potential is sad, painful, heartbreaking, the loss of a potential person who could become anyone, be anything, even more so. But to choose a potential person over the well being and best interests of a being who is already here, with years of experience, choices, friends, family, and everything else already behind them, is to denigrate the value of lives already here just in the hopes of a better "what if". To me, it is to say that all a woman has done, achieved, and impacted in her life is not as worthy or important as what her child MIGHT achieve IF it manages to survive.
I'm 23 weeks pregnant. We chose to have this child, made the conscious decision as two committed, loving adults that if we got pregnant, baring health risks and life threatening birth defects in the child or risk to me, we would carry through. I wish no child was ever conceived except in those circumstances, by people willing and able to take care of it. I don't understand the mentality of someone being worthy enough to sleep with, but not have a child with, but that's just me, and I don't want to force my views on others.
But if something happened tomorrow, and we were to face a choice over my well being and safety, my life, over that of our baby,Jericho and I both agree we would tell them, "Save Me, save Em." From our first pregnancy, we discussed and worried about this, that dark fear of "What if" the worst happened. And Jericho told me then, it would be unfair and selfish for me to choose our baby over him, leaving him alone with a baby to raise, and no me to help or love either of them. In that case it's choosing the baby over the fathers well being, the same thing just with no physical risk to the dad, just a huge burden of sadness and loneliness, and a child he might resent to boot. And every time since that, the decision was already made. "Save Me, Save Em." if something should happen, because otherwise it would be choosing the unborn child not only over myself and my husband, but over my other already born children as well.
It would not matter to me if in a bit of clairvoyance God were to tell me that should my child live, he would cure cancer and bring peace to the world, unless he also promised my other kids and husband would be better off without me, proof that would never come, the answer would always be, "Choose me, Choose Em." Its not that I think I'm better than what my kids could potentially be, its that I know, as long as I'm here, I will do my best to love, protect, and guide them. It's the one little power I have on this earth, and something I won't give up without a fight.
I'm 23 weeks pregnant. We chose to have this child, made the conscious decision as two committed, loving adults that if we got pregnant, baring health risks and life threatening birth defects in the child or risk to me, we would carry through. I wish no child was ever conceived except in those circumstances, by people willing and able to take care of it. I don't understand the mentality of someone being worthy enough to sleep with, but not have a child with, but that's just me, and I don't want to force my views on others.
But if something happened tomorrow, and we were to face a choice over my well being and safety, my life, over that of our baby,Jericho and I both agree we would tell them, "Save Me, save Em." From our first pregnancy, we discussed and worried about this, that dark fear of "What if" the worst happened. And Jericho told me then, it would be unfair and selfish for me to choose our baby over him, leaving him alone with a baby to raise, and no me to help or love either of them. In that case it's choosing the baby over the fathers well being, the same thing just with no physical risk to the dad, just a huge burden of sadness and loneliness, and a child he might resent to boot. And every time since that, the decision was already made. "Save Me, Save Em." if something should happen, because otherwise it would be choosing the unborn child not only over myself and my husband, but over my other already born children as well.
It would not matter to me if in a bit of clairvoyance God were to tell me that should my child live, he would cure cancer and bring peace to the world, unless he also promised my other kids and husband would be better off without me, proof that would never come, the answer would always be, "Choose me, Choose Em." Its not that I think I'm better than what my kids could potentially be, its that I know, as long as I'm here, I will do my best to love, protect, and guide them. It's the one little power I have on this earth, and something I won't give up without a fight.
