This is going to be the best Mother's Day ever because I will not sweat bullets about what to do for my mother this year. I won't be angry or sad at all the Mother's Day cards dedicated to the world's loving moms. I won't feel resentment about spending money I don't want to spend, or guilty about not making phone calls I don't want to make.
It's awesome not being in church anymore.
Now that it's been over a year since I've been to church, I am hearing much more positive, affirming words about who I am as a person and all I have accomplished. One new acquaintance, when hearing my back story, asked me recently how often I am in touch with my mom.
"Oh, not often. Mother's Day, Christmas, her birthday if I remember..."
To my delight and amazement, she said, "Well, that's more than she deserves. You don't need her. You have a good life, and a good family and that's all that matters. She doesn't deserve you."
Those words have set me free, because they were spoken from the heart, with such honest good will.
I expected some version of the old "honor thy mother" or "70 x 7" stuff, so misappropriated to my personal situation. It was such a healing balm to get common sense support instead.
So, this Mother's Day? I will be having mimosa's somewhere nice with my husband, and maybe my adult daughter will join us. My son has to work, and anyway, it's just another day. The love we share every day, the conversations we share every week, those are my actual reward for the years I spent mothering. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Will I call my mom? If I feel like it. Or not. Either way, I will be just fine.