Saturday, December 14, 2013

Like a Cancer

My heart just aches for those patients who work so hard to get in remission, then out of nowhere the cancer comes roaring back.

Depression is just like that. 

I hate being married to a chronically depressed person who blames me for his depression.  It sucks BIG TIME.


  1. The recurrent depression is no one's fault. But his continuing to blame you (or anyone) for his mental/emotional state is just not acceptable. What is his counselor doing that he hasn't yet learned to take responsibility for his own state of mind? Or at least to own that it is his, even if he feels powerless to affect it?

    As someone who is depressed more often than not, though not always to the same degree, I know how easy it is to think other people are uncaring or are not stepping up to handle something I want to believe they should. I also know how toxic that kind of thinking is--both to the people I try to blame and to me, even if I don't actually lash out to the other people. But even in my pissiness, I have to pull up my big girl panties and remember that depression makes me lie to myself, other people can't change my brain chemistry, only I can do that (sometimes only with the help of some external remedial chemistry).

    I have all the sympathy in the world for people who need to find the courage to wake up every morning and face their demons day after day after day. I know all too intimately how brave one must be to do that. And how often I think I can't do it one more time. But I have no sympathy at all for shifting responsibility for needing courage onto someone else. Whining and playing the victim (however legitimately one has been victimized, one does not need to remain a victim) leave me disgusted and annoyed.

  2. Three cheer for big girl panties! =D