Saturday, April 26, 2014

Graduating next month =)


Hello any readers still out there in cyberspace.  The end of net neutrality means that the rich will soon control your access to the thoughts and words of little people like me, so I thought I'd make a final post while I still could.  And to think I once believed in trickle-down economics, silly child that I was.

So, here's the scoop on my marriage, career and family.  I am still married, even though my husband occasionally endulges in abusive behavior.  It happens far less frequently, and ends far more quickly, because I am so close to complete financial self-sufficiency that it is as good as done.  Nothing like seriously working on your exit plan to get a man to take you seriously. ;-)

I graduate in May and I have assurance of a well-paying job with "all the hours I want" to quote my potential new supervisor. I am one of the top five graduates in my community college.  I have already passed the national registry exam in my field which means I will graduate as a credentialed professional.  Can I get an "Amen"?

Our whole family stopped going to church two years ago.  My husband has been sleeping in church for years, or going in the back room with his laptop because he was on call.  Yes, sometimes it really was work, but other times, Sudoku or Minesweeper were what was calling to him.  So when my pastor called me and chewed me out, yelling and calling me insulting names over a facebook post that a) he admitted was true and rational but b) did not admit was hurting his "brand" and might have a potential negative impact on his income if read by reactionary small-minded people who can't understand basic English (his target audience =), my husband had no problem just not going anymore.

My son, great-hearted guy that he is, kept going for awhile, since he doesn't carry other people's grudges.  He still loved God and loved being part of the worship band, so continuing to go was the right thing to do.  Unfortunately, the pastor was not as emotionally mature as my teenage son.  He transferred his hatred towards me over to my son and started treating my son like an enemy instead of a friend.  Eventually my son stopped going as well.  Thank you, Pastor Todd for freeing us from the confines of the cultish business empire that is today's American evangelical Christianity.  Go now, you are forgiven. 

My daughter is out of the Air Force and wants no part of the war machine.  She saw through it quicker than I did, smart girl that she is.  She lives with her boyfriend, a man who clearly dotes on her.  He was also raised to go to church every Sunday and be a good American Christian.  So much for parents doubling down on religion, eh?   Why he won't marry her I don't know (she asked but he turned her down), but this I do know: he seems to truly love my daughter, I know she truly loves him, and they are by all accounts very happy with things the way they are.  So, I am happy for them.

My son is a wandering spirit at this point, his heart captured by poetry and art.  Where he will end up vocation-wise I do not know, but that is not my journey.  He is free to follow his own path, and I will love and accept him wherever that path leads.  I want nothing less than for him to follow his conscience and be good to all people to the best of his ability, and nothing more for him than self-sufficiency with generosity.  I am confident he will live up to my expectations, such as they are.

So, thank you faithful readers. And thanks to all in the evangelical community who shunned us, condemned us and turned your backs on us.  Here outside the wall, with all the other lovers of God and lovers of humanity, the "bleeding hearts and artists", life is truly worth living.  My prayer for you is that you too will also eventually escape "the mask of life they had placed upon the face of death"*, i.e. current American evangelical Christianity and all it encompasses.

*Damascus Road by Rich Mullins







7 comments:

  1. http://www.pink-floyd-lyrics.com/html/outside-the-wall-wall-lyrics.html

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  2. So glad to hear that things are looking up. You sound like the best Mom ever, with children pursuing their own lives (and not dragging your son out of church with you when you left). Hope it all turns out as well as you hope it will - or BETTER.

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    1. Thank, MM. Me too. Got a job interview on Monday!

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  3. Congratulations on the job awaiting you! Kudos on all the hard work and emotional energy it took to get through school and become self-supporting. As your marriage improves, mine falters. And a large factor is my own financial dependence. So I applaud the your efforts and rejoice for you that the results have been good all around.

    I hope hubby continues to do his own inner work--as horribly difficult as that is--and that your marriage continues to improve.

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    1. Yeah, that BS we were taught in church (if you do A then B will always result) just isn't true. There is no one way the life will turn out based on your making certain decisions. It pains me to hear that things are deteriorating in your marriage. You are an amazing person and you deserve love, kindness, honor and respect from your family. I hope your spouse wakes up and starts treating you right. ~SS

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  4. Sounds like you and your children worked through the issues you were having with them earlier; so glad! And congrats on finishing your degree and your new job!

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  5. Yeah, I don't think this will ever end. It's just the fall out from so many years of yuck. Hopefully someday soon my two will bloom and blossom and make their lives amazing. They're all grown up now, so it's time for me to let them go and work on my own life. I love them dearly, and I hope they surpass me in every way!~ss

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