Sheffield, Anne. Depression Fallout. HarperCollins Publishers. New York. 2003.
I am grabbing onto everything I can in an effort to save my sanity, along with my hopes and dreams for my life and my marriage. You already know this, but I thought I would share about the latest branch I've grabbed onto. The book is subtitled The Impact of Depression on Couples and What You Can Do to Preserve the Bond.
My husband has been depressed for a long time, possibly his whole life, maybe fifteen years, maybe ten years, clearly the last two years. He was diagnosed last August and started on anti-depressants, but they stopped being effective a while ago. He is seeing a specialist for a possible change of medication/dosage, and he recently started EMDR.
This book outlines five stages of depression fallout, or five stages of affect on the non-depressed partner. First stage, confusion. Check, that would include 1998-2002. Second stage, self-blame. Check, that would cover 2002-2005. Demoralization, 2005-2007. Resentment, stage four. 2008 to the present. Stage five is described as "a longing to be free of the unhappiness and of the person who is its source".
This book is giving me hope. It is truly a great thing that my husband is seeking treatment. It is possible that he may be able to conquer depression and find resolution for all the lies and bad memories that hold his heart hostage.
I think it will take longer than I want it to, but I can hang on if I know for sure there is an end in sight. He seemed pretty happy about his appointment today.
I have ordered some books and a video about missionary boarding schools and problems that others have faced. I will keep the book and I don't know what to do with the video. I'll ask the therapist this week. I get to see her too. =)
I want to be able to disengage from the rotten mean vengeful child persona, without having to permanently disengage my whole heart from the whole man. Would you pray that I can find that place?
Thanks, internet friends. The world feels safer with you in it.