Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Personal Update

I haven't posted about my crappy home school marriage for some time, and in this event at least, no news is good news. =)

I don't have much time this morning, as I have an appointment with my (our) EMDR therapist this morning. This therapy, at least at this point, is helping both of us so much on a personal level, and this in turn has resulted in much more love, empathy, affection, conversation and even fun activities for us as a couple.

We are each of us still in the early stages of our therapy. (I was trying to push forward and just get the whole thing over with, but I learned real quick that this is a bad idea. =) At this stage, we are trying to stabilize our emotions and, for us at least with our individual therapist, this means focusing on good memories and the positive associations we have made with them in our minds.

My husband has been reading much recently on the internet about missionary boarding school abuses, and to my surprise and happiness, he is not freaking out about it. He has also started reading a memoir of a boarding school student who suffered heinous abuse in a missionary boarding school, and although he is not that far into the book, that hasn't really affected his mood in a negative way either. So far, so good.

I know from personal experience, that when therapy does begin to gently peel back the skin of a bad memory, in order to clean out the wound and bring healing there, it will be very personally unsettling. I am gaining confidence that we will make it through that together, based on the days/weeks of good will and mutual support that we are building up now. I am hoping it turns out this way, but only time will tell.

Conclusion: so far, so good. EMDR seems to be helping us as individuals, and with that personal stability we are relating better as a couple. Stay tuned for future updates as they occur.


  1. It's good to hear an update. {{hugs}}

  2. glad that everyone is working hard and seeing the rewards. Still praying for you all.

  3. A friend said I don't post about it much anymore, and I told her it's like any other kind of pain. When it hurts, it's hard to think of anything else. But when the pain is gone, there is this whole world outside to notice and appreciate and contemplate.

    I am glad it's not hurting all the time anymore. No doubt in some part because of your prayers. Thank you!