Friday, April 1, 2011

Good news from the past incident

I wanted to share with all how much EMDR has helped me deal with the most recent traumatic event in my marriage. Some of the more fundamentalist among my readers (ha ha! If there are any left! =) might find this alarming, since anything not specifically mentioned in scripture tends to scare such people. But hey, airplanes, antibiotics and CAT scanners are just three of the many beneficial things invented by humans that are not mentioned in the Bible, so I am not afraid of "extra Biblical revelation".

While my husband was angrily stomping and cursing and being intimidating, I remained calm. After he left, I went back to bed, very shaken inside but pride of myself for not reacting. As you can imagine, sleep was not forthcoming.

So I purposefully imagined going to the safe place I had created in my mind during EMDR sessions. It is sort of a conglomeration of places I have felt safe, relaxed and one with God during my lifetime. It has all the sounds, smells and tactile sensations of those places.

Often when I imagine myself in that place I am much younger than I am now. My therapist corrected me the one time I admitted that, and said it should be me as I am now. Whatevs, I laughed inside. I am trusting the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me in all truth, so I trust that if I imagine myself as younger that's how it should be. I just go with it the way it plays out. I feel peaceful, confident, loved by God and relaxed so that's all that really matters.

Anyway this time, as I imagined the feel of the rocks and the moss, I WAS my older self and I was still super-stressed. And to my suprise, my younger self was there too! She was very comforting to me. She was happy, confident, content, and wearing the swimsuit I sewed for myself when I was ten/eleven years old.

She told me how good Jesus was to her, and how faithful He had always been. She was glowing as she recounted to me how God had protected her and helped her so many times. The cool mountain pool she usually swam in was there. But she told me God had heated it to help me relax. My older self got into the warm water and it was very relaxing. We looked at the stars together, and I could not help but be encouraged by her joy and confidence. After a while I got out of the pool, and even though it was night, the weather was perfect. I was not cold at all. I laid down on some furs that were arranged on the rock, and she proceeded to give me a massage with her little chubby adolescent hands, all the while singing songs to me of God's love. I fell asleep.

The next night when I was again having troubles sleeping, I went back to the safe place in my imagination. My younger self was there again, and very happy to see me. We swam together in the mountain pool and she would dive and bring up glittery rocks to show me. Again her innocence and joy were very encouraging. She dove again and brought up a bright shiny gold coin. I asked her where she got it and she said Jesus put it there for her, and that he does that all the time. She gave it to me. As I took it, I knew it was wisdom. I fell asleep. When I woke up the next morning, I knew what I needed to do.

Just remembering this fills me with peace and confidence again. God loves me and He loves you too. Rest in that love today. Peace and good will, SS


  1. Very very good news.

    : )

  2. I do still read your blog. :) My heart hurts for you & I hope you can soon find peace & healing & reconciliation. Take care.

  3. <3
    So glad to hear. Sending hugs and well-wishes.